Small victories
I am so glad to report that my world has stopped spinning, and I can get back to life. So, what is a day in the life of me as I figure out who I am?
My first step happened over the last few months and is still ongoing, except now I can function a little bit better. Acknowledging the traumas, I have faced in my life and how they have affected me, I know this step will take a while and may cause some tears or anger, but I finally feel like I am able to do this.
Second step kind of got sidelined over the last week while my vertigo was acting up. This step is getting back to being a more helpful wife, let me explain. Over the last few years, I have relied on my husband a lot, probably more than I should have, and it eventually got to the point where he was doing everything. Kid’s sports runs, cooking, cleaning, homework with the boy, bringing daughter to work, and basically anything that we used to both help out with around the house and family life. I am trying to get myself into a sort of routine for my days at home.
What does a day in the life of me look like? Every morning I get up and get ready for my day, and when I get dressed, I am no longer in pjs which may not seem like a big thing but trust me when I say that it is. Let the dogs out for their business, make myself a bit to eat or a smoothie, and then do some chores around the house, these include dishes, laundry, and vacuuming on most days. Again, I know these sound like such small insignificant things but for me it is big, and if you’ve been in this mental state before you understand that these small things are huge. I try to workout each day, these are very low impact and short, but it feels great to do something, maybe one day I’ll be up for hiit workouts again but right now is not the time for that. I read, sometimes it is a fictional book and sometimes it is a self-help kind of book. Right now, the book is about Chakras, where they are and what they each represent and how to heal your body and your mind.
But like all days, none are the same. Today is a different sort of day. Got up early to bring my two fur babies to the groomers, and I will have to head back to pick them up. Do I mind? Nope, it gets me out of my house and interacting with people. This is also a big step, a few months ago I got anxiety if I had to leave my house, now I can. I’m not a social butterfly by any means, I never have been, but the simple act of getting up and out is huge.
I used to feel guilty for not doing anything and sitting all day, and I would apologize for it all the time and my husband would keep telling me to stop apologizing and that it was his job to take care of me when I couldn’t. Now when he gets home and sees the things that I’ve done, and like I said before it may not seem like a lot, he will say wow you’ve had a busy day.
Don’t ever feel guilty if you can’t get up and do all the things. Sometimes what you need is some self-care and if that is laying in your bed all day hurkle durkling don’t be afraid to ask for some help and do it. The way I see it self-care is not selfish. By taking care of yourself you are able to be a better person for those around you.
Happy hurkle durkling,
Chantal M.
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